Brian Frosh | Representing the state of Maryland Here
2023 | The Democratic People’s Republic of Maryland
”The world is ours” -- Discovery Channel Slogan
As Maryland continues to ever seek more influence in the United States, many (as seen above) have been collaborating for years to see state entities enter the world stage. With the United North American Aegis Company chairman Jim Taiclet leading the charge and being the first to break into the Liberian market (along with help from Ghana ). With the New Bethesda Megaplex in the works in the United States, the Aegis company felt unstoppable in terms of development undertakings. This came especially true after the not one, not two, not even three, but four (still working on that last one) multibillion dollar military contracts from the swiss and continued support from the United States Federal government. Revenue was massive. With new headquarters in western Europe, the stage was truly set for the Aegis company. As Jim Taiclet thought in his office, he truly saw the pure and raw benefits of working in Liberia. He decided to call his friends about it. Being one of the largest company in the state of Maryland by a vast margin and having a history of shady practices when it came to getting things done immediately set up a meeting between the old Comptroller turned Governor Peter Franchot, Baltimore mayor turned Governor Martin O’Malley, and construction company owner turned Governor Larry Hogan. To consult them about his plan. After picking their brain about the plan, they agreed that investment a hostile economic takeover of Liberia would be the best thing for the Democratic People’s Republic of Maryland. In turn, they immediately began getting their friends together, composed of the most powerful entities in the state of Maryland with not only stateside reach, but international reach in a majority of the cases and global reach in a notable amount of cases. Together, they all formulated a grand plan in the Governor's Mansion in Annapolis that the Liberian government simply couldn’t refuse. The general idea was to have Liberia in the putty of Maryland's hands. Through investment and a strangling corporate hand, they would work to do just that.
General Investment Plan: 2023/4-2035
The companies of Maryland together are a multi hundred billion dollar powerhouse by itself larger than most African nation's when bridging together state and private entities. The Maryland Cabal planned on using this intense and concentrated capital to dump funds into Liberia to spread their own influence over the small West African nation of Liberia and use it, and eventually other African nations, as a supply house for raw materials, a factory full of cheap labor, and a fertile breeding ground for pure, unadulterated, capitalism. Between Hogan, Franchot, and O’Malley, they proposed a roughly $200 billion dollar investment plan to completely revamp Liberia from the ground up, the Maryland way. The plan would be to completely rework the Liberian economy to benefit the state of Maryland (and the US to a secondary extent) and expose them to Maryland culture and innovations over a period of 8-10 years. Western Africa will feel the might of raw Maryland economic power.
Healthcare Sector
The Maryland healthcare sector (Represented by the John Hopkins School of Medicine, HMSHost, and MedStar Health) will start off the deal by creating the “the Jim Taiclet Frederick-Monrovian General Hospital” thanks to alleged ‘private’ funding by Aegis company CEO Jim Taiclet. The namescape will also be due to Monrovia Frederick County, Maryland. The hospital will be the primary healthcare center providing American tier healthcare at Liberian costs. As Liberia only has 5,000 health workers and 51 native doctors, we can easily dominate the market by building a massive hospital to rival, and eventually collapse John F. Kennedy Medical Center) and we can simply expand from there. By having a fully staffed, American style hospital in Liberia, we can dominate the healthcare market there in a big way. The strategy is to provide free services until the JFK Medical center closes due to failing in every way compared to the Frederick-Monrovian Hospital. By stealing the doctors from the JFK center and the medical workers by providing a hyper competitive wage (for Liberian standards which shouldn’t cost us that much overall), we can easily create a healthcare monopoly in the nation of Liberia with ease. This will be combined with GEICO selling “health insurance” plans to the population (despite the fact GEICO only does auto insurance in the United States.) They will ‘expand’ into every type of insurance when it comes to Liberian operations to ensure that the Liberians buy into the Maryland system we will establish and be a direct benefactor of.
Construction and housing sector
The housing sector will be taken over by Maryland’s finest major contractors and trucking companies. Utilizing the drastically cheaper resources found in Western Africa, we can build apartment blocks, townhomes, single family homes, major arenas, casinos and give Monrovia a major facelift by effectively gentrifying the entire nation bit by bit. As we will be able to dominate the wages given to day laborers and full time workers with the brainpower and might of American construction, we should be able to completely rebuild Liberia into a paradise of Maryland based capitalism and splendor. It will be a utopian state of the finest Maryland infrastructure. The gimmick here will be buying out the residents across Liberia. As the total GDP of Liberia is $3.2 billion dollars with the average Liberian making around $704 a year ($1,414 in PPP dollars) and then doing massive redevelopment projects across the nation's major cities and becoming the best and only game in town. By using the construction companies themselves to issue loans to people for buying homes (something similar to what GM financial does). With the contracting companies of Maryland acting as the developer and banker for these properties, over time, Maryland based companies will be the only game in town to own property in Liberia. Offering the 20, 25, and 30 year loans as seen in the United States and with the entire Maryland Cabal strong arming the Liberian economic ministry due to sheer economic power as a block, we could become very powerful, very quickly. We will effectively set up a Maryland based monopoly.
Tourism Sector
As we have the power of Marriott International on our side along with the contractors, we can build up the hospitality sector of Liberia from something frankly, questionable, to an upper-middle class wonderland of cheap goods and services in a foreign land. By using HMS-Host to develop operations for the food in the nation (something they will do for the hospital system as well as noted), it should be generally very easy to establish a tourism sector for Americans and Europeans that they are already familiar with by having a low overhead.
Manufacturing/Agriculture
We will be using McCormick, Under Armor, the Aegis Company, DeWalt Tools, and Perdue (due to the large AG sector), to manufacture goods in a cheap manner. Taking a note out of China’s book in African investment, we will undercut the Chinese themselves by using cheap labor whilst still paying the average Liberian a “competitive wage” that, in reality, is only large enough to consume more Maryland (and American to a lesser extent) goods. Considering we lost a considerable amount of AG goods supply after the US broke up, we will offset this and become the American breadbasket by owning high amounts of Liberian assets and sending them back to America to sell them at American standard rates to make a huge profit.
Infrastructure
Using various Maryland based companies, Liberia can transform in a matter of a few years with Huges (for internet), BGE (for energy production), and the several infrastructure companies to redevelop roads while they are redeveloping and rebuilding neighborhoods. With these lofty and grand plans, Jim Taiclet of the Aegis company feels that a coordinated effort like this will yield wildly effective results for improving the state of Maryland, bring cheap goods and services into the United States and most importantly, turn a heavy profit. The Maryland Cabal has decided to work this plan over the next 8-10 years and establish a very clear, and even overwhelming force in Western Africa. With Liberia being a relatively low bar for the massive economic power held by these Maryland based companies, they all decide to put this plan into motion.
Hello, I am the Narrator. And I am here to bring you a wonderful story of giving, receiving and love. But it’s not a porno, that’s coming next year when the Best Boys reunite and give us their Christmas Spectacular. Because it turns out that the one thing Fox News is right about is that a liberal arts degree will not get you a job worth a damn, I am here to tell you the story of Snappy, Delilah and their unhatched eggs as they headed home to the Everglades. Our story takes us to Southern Florida just as Snappy, Delilah and the trailer of eggs get to the edge of the Everglades. They had been slowed down as they had both gotten diarrhoea thanks to Billy Ray Cyrus but had got to the swamp just as dusk fell. Their journey hadn’t ended yet though as they needed to find a hole to put their eggs in so they can hatch safely. Meanwhile In a field hundreds of miles away, Gorey Craves is trying to get a lot of sheep into a truck. MKD and P1 are on quad bikes trying to get the unruly woolly monsters under control. Gorey then gets his gun out. Gorey: GET THESE SHEEP IN THE TRUCK NOW OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SNAPPY AND DELILAH WILL HAVE A FEAST WHEN THEY GET BACK! MKD: Woah woah we’re out here helping out for the goodness of our own heart. Gorey: No you’re not! You’re helping out because you killed the janitor because he was stealing our faeces for his fetish farm while P1 is helping because he was peeking at his presents! P1: *meekly* I wanted to see if I got a hatchimal. Gorey: You were, not now, Steve is getting it now! And then as P1 started to have a temper tantrum, an angel that looked like John Cena appeared in the sky. Wait we could afford John Cena for this? Then why am I getting paid £10 and a voucher for the local burger place? John Cena: Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the swamps of Florida, the saviours of the world are being hatched. P1: Wait, who’s saying this? I can’t see anyone. Seriously, that joke? Even Squared Circle is bored of that. MKD: What do you want us to do John Cena? John Cena: Wouldn’t hurt for you to go there and welcome them into the world. Bring the sheep. And so John Cena disappeared and the shepherds pledged to head to the swamps of Florida to see the hatched saviours of the world, even though there was still an arrest warrant for P1 thanks to the time he pissed into a microwave during a Best Buy Black Friday sale. P1 and Gorey got into the front of the truck while MKD had to get into the back with the sheep. This was fine though as MKD started to count the sheep out of boredom and well he fell asleep because the person who wrote this script is a hack. While shepherds watched Their flocks by night On stolen broken quad bikes The angel of Vince McMahon came down And glory shone around And glory shone around Meanwhile Snappy and Delilah were swimming through the swamp trying to find somewhere they could rest their head and hatch their eggs. Things were getting urgent as the eggs were starting to shake which Pokemon tells mean they are only a few steps away from hatching. But every tree hotel and swamp hostel was full because of trendy hipsters renting them on AirBNB and despite Snappy’s protests, they were not allowed to simply eat the hipsters as the crocodiles were making a lot of money out of this gentrification. Eventually, Snappy made it to a farm. The rooms there were full but there was room in their farm shed. So Snappy and Delilah decided to go in there, delicately placing their eggs in the manger. Away in a manger No crib for His eggs The little crocodiles Are just about to hatch Meanwhile In a penthouse suite in Miami, Tokes, Dan and Bahamas are relaxing while drinking very expensive champagne. So expensive that I’m told that if I touch it, Tokes will 86 me and dump my corpse in the Crocodile Union Christmas Party hamper. Bahamas: Tokes, you may be a terrible person, but these private Christmas Eve tuxedo parties are the best. Dan: Amen to that. Tokes: Well as two great GMs who have the power to hand me title shots, I thought a little Christmas Party would be great. Anyway, about those title shots… But before Dan and Bahamas could tell Tokes to fuck off, the great angel John Cena appeared. John Cena: Hello wise men, I bring you great news of love and peace on earth. Bahamas: That happened ages ago, Dan came back. They high fived, which was highly inappriopiate in front of an angel. John Cena: 12 saviours of the world are being hatched tonight in the Everglades and you must greet them. Tokes: Seems legit. John Cena: Also, I need you to get a few things for them. Dan: This is starting to seem like a scam now. John Cena: Bring the saviours of the world gold, frankincense and myrrh. And so John Cena disappeared. The three wise men were pretty solid on the idea of gold, but they had no idea about frankincense and myrrh because no one knows what they are. Seriously, go ask the Reverend at a church service tomorrow what they are, I bet they don’t know. Instead of simply googling it and using Vacant’s Amazon Prime account to get the frankincense and myrrh, they found alternatives and headed to the swamps. We three predictor of orient are, Bearing gifts we head not so far Street and highway, mud and swamp, Following hatching eggs Meanwhile In the manger, the eggs were hatching. First was Bitey, who was a bit Bitey. Then there was Chompy because there’s a theme. Then there was Teeth, because of course. Fourth to come was Gus, because Delilah named that one. Fifth to hatch was Bone Breaker as he is being primed for a career in pro wrestling. Sixth was Gwazi because Snappy had agreed to a promotion tie-in with Busch Gardens for their new rollercoaster Iron Gwazi, coming Spring 2020. Seventh was Gorey due to a longstanding bet Snappy had lost, he really did think the Dolphins would win the Superbowl this year. The eight was Beatrice, again Delilah’s choice. 9th was Rapida, which is actually Snappy is Spanish. 10th was Croccy, as you do start to run out of ideas at number 10. 11th was Hero, sweetly named after his deceased friend. And 12th is Jesus, because we might as well be that sacrilegious. And then the visitors came. First it was the shepherds who arrived, Gorey, P1 and MKD bringing all of their sheep into the shed. It was packed full of sheep but the new crocs were able to sort that out pretty quickly. Turns out Gus has an appetite. MKD: LBH would be so proud of you Snappy for this. MKD then weirdly tapped a vial strapped to his side. MKD: In fact I think he is watching rather closely right now. P1: Baby crocodiles really do sound like laser beams don’t they? Gorey: OMG THESE ARE THE BEST THINGS EVER I’M THROWING YOU A BABY SHOWER AS SOON AS YOU GET BACK TO LLR HQ! Then the three wise men arrived, though I think that’s a relative thing. Tokes: Crocodile babies, I bring the gift of gold. Ok it’s a gold coloured chip that gets you a free spin at any casino in the country but it’s still good. Bahamas: Crocodile babies, I bring the gift of frankincense. Well, I got you a San Marino gift bag which has grapes, olives and a pig. I wrote frankincense on the pig though. Dan: Crocodile babies, I bring the gift of myrrh. Well, I brought a Dan action figure! This one is a collectible so don’t take it out of the packaging. The crocodile babies immediately tore into the packaging with Croccy and Gwazi doing a tug of war with the figure. But eventually they calmed down and the night fell silent, with all watching the beautiful baby crocodiles fall to sleep. Snappy night, holey night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin (hah), Delilah and Child Holy infants so angry and wild Sleep in crocodile peace Sleep in crocodile peace
Sports Betting Revenues Falling Short of States’ Expectations
Legalized sports betting has failed to generate the revenue expected in Rhode Island. The state initially budgeted for $23.5 million in gambling related revenues for the fiscal year ending in June 2019 (began in Nov. ’18). The target was lowered to $11.5 million in January, but R.I. lottery officials are reporting that the state has posted just 1.3% of that total ($150,000) to date. Governor Gina Raimondo attributed the shortfall to “a little bit [of a] later start than we thought”; wagering volume ($250 million anticipated vs. $813 million projected) and gambler performance (better than expected) have also forced the need for a rebalancing of the budget. While it’s all but assured that Rhode Island will fall short of January’s revamped projection, it should experience significant revenue growth in 2020; Raimondo signed a bill last week that will permit online sports betting within the state. Howie Long-Short: The Patriots Super Bowl win contributed to a tough February for Rhode Island’s sportsbooks – the pair lost a combined $890,000 on $20.7 million in wagers during the month. They’re off to a better start in March, having raked in +/- $1 million over the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. The state is entitled to 51% of sports betting revenues (after expenses). Rhode Island is certainly not a proxy for the country – it has just 2 licensed casinos – but “most of the states” that have passed legislation since PASPA was struck down have fallen short of projections. It’s certainly no coincidence that like Rhode Island, all but New Jersey (which out-earned Nevada for the 1st time in Jan.) failed to establish mobile/online as an option. Rhode Island’s 2020 budget assumes sports betting will bring in $30.3 million in revenue, including $3 million in mobile fees. Democratic Senate President Dominick Ruggerio has acknowledged that the financial forecasts will need to be rebalanced (see: lowered) in the wake of fiscal 2019 results, but the nominal revenue Raimondo attributed to mobile – relative to the total income projected – makes me think they’re still getting bad “information” (or that they simply don’t understand the marketplace). New Jersey sportsbooks generated 80% of their January revenue from mobile and online platforms. Once Twin Rivers begins taking online/mobile bets, business will pick up. It will become easier for residents of the state to place wagers and with Massachusetts yet to legalize sports betting, the Rhode Island licensee should pick up some action from residents of the neighboring state (via the William Hill app). For reference purposes, FanDuel claims 9% of its New Jersey business comes from those living in New York and another 4% from those based in Pennsylvania. The 2020 budget assumes mobile sports betting will be available next winter, but there’s a current push within the Assembly to have it in place by the start of the NFL season. Rhode Island’s 2 casinos (Lincoln and Tiverton) are owned by Twin River Worldwide Holdings. On Friday, the company (which also owns the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Biloxi, MS) “added to its geographic base” closing on the purchase of Dover Downs Gaming & Entertainment. Shares of Twin River common stock subsequently began trading (at $29) on the New York Stock Exchange under the symbol TRWH. Fan Marino: 75% of those who placed bets (against the spread) on the Super Bowl at Rhode Island’s 2 brick and mortar casinos took the hometown Patriots; as a result, the pair lost $2.3 million on the game. It’s not atypical for a sportsbook to take a loss on a big game – like the Super Bowl – when the hometown team covers. Fans bet with their hearts and the action tends to skew “towards the geographically favored team.” The books don’t move the lines to reflect the heavy action though, because doing so would leave them susceptible to sharp money (going the other way) taking advantage of mispriced odds.
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